Why is change so darned difficult? I mean really, you just get the hang of things, you've got a nice life flow, a nice 'system' in place and then BAM! - it's time to change....again!
I work for a podiatrist, a very good one I might add, and a wonderful Christian man. In fact, this is my second time around working for this fabulous doctor and for the life of me I don't know why I decided the grass was greener on the other side, but, well....I digress.
For the time that he's been in the area he has been an independent practitioner with a good, solid but not overwhelming, patient base. There are three employees plus the doctor in our little office family. Things have been going nicely, the practice is growing, word-of-mouth brings many people to seek his care and we (the staff) have been openly praised for our compassionate and skilled care. We rarely, if ever, run behind schedule and we pride ourselves on maintaining this high quality environment.
As of March 1, we have merged into a medical 'group'. We are still us, just part of a larger entity that will be bring greater benefit to the employees and unity to the multiple physicians in taking on Medicare and other insurance companies. So needless to say, big changes are underway and like a lot of people, I don't particularly care for change.
A good friend of mine recently suggested we eliminate the word change from our thinking and suggested instead the word transform or transformation. Hearing this particular word, for me, brought a sense of peace and seemed to ease the stress just a bit. It just didn't seem so hard to transform. Transformation seems more gradual, something we can ease into gently. I like it. I think I'll keep it.
So today while working on some of the various transformations taking place in the office, I tried to imagine myself in the caterpillar-coccoon-butterfly image. In the past, in my caterpillar stage, I roamed aimlessly (well, it seemed thath way sometimes) through a job or jobs. I tested this, nibbled on that, and tried different things; always looking for that one thing that was right for me in a place that was right for me.
When I landed in my current position (for the second time) I reached my coccoon stage. A very comfortable, warm and cozy, safe place. I am good at what I do, I love our patients, I love my boss and I have great friends through my work. A comfy coccoon indeed.
And then I went to a spiritual retreat in the spring of 2010 and that is when the coccoon started to crack. I suddenly felt pulled, called and drawn to be something more. I was being called to transform somehow. I imagine that this is about the time that the discussions began for forming the medical group. I began a two-year journey of spiritual development, I accepted calls to serve on the council at church, I have been filled with the Holy Spirit and launched into learning what the Lord thinks I need in order to equip me to fulfill my duties in His kingdom.
Today at the office, my mind was being overwhelmed by the information and the details of what this new transformation in my work world will entail. I wonder how God is calling us - the doctor and the staff, to serve differently, better and in harmony with others who also share the call to care for God's people. I have to keep reminding myself that we are transforming ourselves into what He calls us to be. He is calling us to break out, be bold and be transformed into something beautiful.
My personal and professional wings are beginning to emerge like the first flowers of spring bursting through the cold ground. The transformation into butterfly has started in ernest. The days ahead are filled with uncertainty but one thing is clear: God is walking the journey right beside us and He will be there as I/we spread our wings and take flight and move out to transform the world.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, Monday....Can't Trust That Day
So today marked the first day of spring and the first day of a week without the boss in the office. While we had great plans for today not much on the 'big stuff' got done today, although I did get three plants repotted that were looking forlorn.
I spent the whole day entering payments.....twice! We have recently had some changes in our office procedures and for now I have to enter all the payments into each group separately. Anyone who has ever read insurance EOBs knows this is not always an easy task. But I persevered, made the deposit, looked at the clock....it was time to go home. Tomorrow I am going to start painting the walls....or climbing them, I have decided which just yet.
Tonight I am catching up on church bulletin work and will then do some additional reading for class tomorrow night. I just LOVE my Diakonia class. Only four more weeks and my first year will be complete! Hooray! Hubby is snoring away down the hall, the cats are sleeping around here and there and the house is relatively quiet.
Not much motivational in this blog tonight, just stopping in to say hello and keep myself in the habit. God bless you all this week.
KLR
I spent the whole day entering payments.....twice! We have recently had some changes in our office procedures and for now I have to enter all the payments into each group separately. Anyone who has ever read insurance EOBs knows this is not always an easy task. But I persevered, made the deposit, looked at the clock....it was time to go home. Tomorrow I am going to start painting the walls....or climbing them, I have decided which just yet.
Tonight I am catching up on church bulletin work and will then do some additional reading for class tomorrow night. I just LOVE my Diakonia class. Only four more weeks and my first year will be complete! Hooray! Hubby is snoring away down the hall, the cats are sleeping around here and there and the house is relatively quiet.
Not much motivational in this blog tonight, just stopping in to say hello and keep myself in the habit. God bless you all this week.
KLR
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Growing into a Grandpa
After this crazy, chaotic, overstuffed week we had a beautiful Saturday spent with our granddaughter Alexis. She is now 14 months old, a bundle of energy and a consistent source of smiles and joy. She is walking, running, climbing and jabbering in her own little language.
It hardly seems possibly that 14 months have passed since this little cutie entered our lives, much the same thought I have about the 27 years that have passed since the birth of my own first child.
Now, those of you who I've grown up with know that my sole purpose and goal in life was to grow up, get married and be a mom. I could not wait for that time and I fearlessly took on that challenge at the age of 19 when my daughter, Heather Dawn, was born follwed closely by Daniel Allen and Benjamin John. Three of the best things EVER to happen in my life.
Fourteen years later, following the divorce from their father, I remarried a wonderful guy (Tom). Now Tom, bless his heart, had never been married much less been surrounded by the chaos that a houseful of children can bring. This wonderful, painfully quiet, man stepped out of his comfort zone, faced the culture shock and took on the challenges associated with being a stepfather, but had never experienced the joy of babies and toddlers, having not had children himself.
His newest life-changing journey began on January 5, 2010 with the birth of our granddaughter. When we first visited them when they arrived home, he was nervouse as all get out to hold that 8 lb. bundle - the fear showing clearly on his face in those early photos. The changes in him during this past 14 months just make me smile.
Every week, at least once, he asks "Are we getting Alexis this weekend?" and on one recent occasion he even said, "We NEED to get Alexis this weekend." My heart just melted. He was missing her and needed to see her. It's so hard with his sleeping schedule and working nights.
He is a great grandpa. After a blizzard in February he brought in three bowls of snow so she could play in the snow without getting too cold. So all I could do was smile and take pictures of her spreading snow all over the dining room with my proud hubby looking on full of smiles. It was fun to watch. Would I have let my kids do that? Heck no. But that's what grandparents are for - right?
He is not afraid to pick her up if she's crying. He's the good guy who lets her run out the patio door without shoes or a jacket (ugh). He's the impatient, fun guy who wakes up from our nap because it's nice out and she should go outside to play. He's the loving man who brings snow inside the house so she doesn't get cold. Has he changed a diaper? No, but the changes he has undergone more than make up for the fact.
This granny is so proud to be married to this grandpa. The joys of watching him grow into his new role bring almost as much joy as watching the granddaughter growing and changing every day.
Tomorrow is the first day of spring. A season of new life, rain showers, changes and growth. I pray that the good Lord showers his wonderful blessings over us and continues to help us grow into the people we are meant to be.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
What WOULD Jesus do?
I recently finished reading a book called "In His Steps". This was a truly wonderful reading experience that should be a requirement for all Christians today to read and soak in. The story is about a pastor of a church who challenges his parishioners to live one year of their lives doing nothing without first asking "What would Jesus do?" The challenges they faced and the changes they underwent throughout the story just hit me like a ton of bricks. Could I live my life, in all areas, without first asking "What would Jesus do?"
This question has hung in the air around me for the last two weeks.
A few months ago, a very close friend called me upset that someone he had talked to at work that day stated that they didn't like me (Kathy). His distress became my own as I wondered what in the world I had possibly done or said that would cause this person to speak out with such a statement. I try hard to be friends with everyone and I was so upset by this that in my hurt I posted a comment on a social network, "Like me or hate me is up to you. I know that God loves me and that's all I need." (or something to that effect.) The reply stated that this was negative and permanent status, which I am sure it was.
I sent a private message to this person asking just what I had done to cause this hurt to her. I honestly could not remember anything I had done. A lengthy reply was received with her explanation of the words I had chosen three years prior in my haste of finalizing worship details for the day. It also noted that I am a small piece of the bigger picture. The final line: WWJD? Hmmmm? What WOULD Jesus do? I wonder if those four words were meant for me or for her?
I prayed hard that day and into the evening. I prayed that she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I prayed for myself, that I would have the ability to speak words of good meaning for future encounters. I prayed that she and her family would find a church home where she felt secure, loved and fulfilled, even if that place is not our current place of worship. I prayed and prayed. I was truly devastated knowing that I had hurt someone so deeply with my hastily chosen, unintentional words spoken in haste and without thinking.
We exchanged several email messages throughout the following day or two. I thought, perhaps prematurely, that we had come to at least an understanding that we could both live with. And yet, just last week another friend, unrelated to our church family, has been told by this person that she hates me. I wonder if Jesus would take every opportunity to spread this hatred with every person who knows me or would he have forgiven and blessed me with another opportunity to do better? I wonder if Jesus would turn and walk away as fast as He could if I tried to approach and have a conversation with Him at church?
Having completed the book that left that lingering question, I wonder if I am able to live in a way that puts Jesus as my first thought before making any decisions or taking any action? I believe that Jesus would forgive and move forward. I have forgiven her, but the nagging hurt is still in my heart and the wound reopened each time another person tells me what they've heard from her.
What do you think? What WOULD Jesus do?
This question has hung in the air around me for the last two weeks.
A few months ago, a very close friend called me upset that someone he had talked to at work that day stated that they didn't like me (Kathy). His distress became my own as I wondered what in the world I had possibly done or said that would cause this person to speak out with such a statement. I try hard to be friends with everyone and I was so upset by this that in my hurt I posted a comment on a social network, "Like me or hate me is up to you. I know that God loves me and that's all I need." (or something to that effect.) The reply stated that this was negative and permanent status, which I am sure it was.
I sent a private message to this person asking just what I had done to cause this hurt to her. I honestly could not remember anything I had done. A lengthy reply was received with her explanation of the words I had chosen three years prior in my haste of finalizing worship details for the day. It also noted that I am a small piece of the bigger picture. The final line: WWJD? Hmmmm? What WOULD Jesus do? I wonder if those four words were meant for me or for her?
I prayed hard that day and into the evening. I prayed that she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I prayed for myself, that I would have the ability to speak words of good meaning for future encounters. I prayed that she and her family would find a church home where she felt secure, loved and fulfilled, even if that place is not our current place of worship. I prayed and prayed. I was truly devastated knowing that I had hurt someone so deeply with my hastily chosen, unintentional words spoken in haste and without thinking.
We exchanged several email messages throughout the following day or two. I thought, perhaps prematurely, that we had come to at least an understanding that we could both live with. And yet, just last week another friend, unrelated to our church family, has been told by this person that she hates me. I wonder if Jesus would take every opportunity to spread this hatred with every person who knows me or would he have forgiven and blessed me with another opportunity to do better? I wonder if Jesus would turn and walk away as fast as He could if I tried to approach and have a conversation with Him at church?
Having completed the book that left that lingering question, I wonder if I am able to live in a way that puts Jesus as my first thought before making any decisions or taking any action? I believe that Jesus would forgive and move forward. I have forgiven her, but the nagging hurt is still in my heart and the wound reopened each time another person tells me what they've heard from her.
What do you think? What WOULD Jesus do?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Fallen for Freedom
I wake this morning, after a night in my comfortable bed and safe from harm, to a cool Monday morning sipping coffee and planning the activities of my day. Most Monday mornings are spent rushing around getting ready for work and enjoying a busy day full of things I choose to do. Today, however, is Memorial Day. An early summer day that many, including myself, will get to enjoy off to be with our families and friends.
When I was a child, I remember that on this day we would travel to my mother's home town, stop at the same greenhouse, and then drive to the cemetery to place red geraniums on the grave of someone I didn't know - her father. Her father had died in a war as a young man serving his country. I had no idea why we were doing it, I just knew that when this day came each year that was the plan. I am now 44 years old and it wasn't until recently that the reality of what we had faithfully done those many years ago struck me with brilliant clarity.
I had never had the opportunity to meet this man who gave his life for his country, as he had given the ultimate sacrifice when my mother was just a girl. Never before had a pondered the grief and struggles of my grandmother, a young woman with five young children, left to heal their hurting souls and her own, and manage to go on without him. The realization that many, many families have had to endure this pain and sacrifice through the generations has made to truly realize what a gift these young men and women were and we should remember them today, and everyday that we walk in our freedom.
Yesterday as my husband and I were driving along a rural country highway, through several small towns, we saw American flags flying from nearly every home in these communities nestled among the corn fields. But the most striking display could be seen nearly a mile away at a cemetery in the middle of nowhere. There, they had rows and rows, at least 50, tall flagpoles waving the red, white and blue banners of our freedom and independence. With the setting of the early evening sun providing the amazing amber backdrop for this image tears came to my eyes as I remembered those who had fallen for our freedom. It was truly one of the most amazing displays I have ever seen and I thank Our Lord and Father that he led me down that path last night.
Today, as you enjoy your day off, I encourage you to take a few minutes and say a prayer of thanksgiving that you live in the land of the free. Pray for the families whose soldiers have paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Even if you do not believe in war, say a prayer of support for the safety of our soldiers who are serving in the way that our God has called them. Pray for their families back home who struggle to maintain the family while they are away. And, as always, pray for their safe return.
When I was a child, I remember that on this day we would travel to my mother's home town, stop at the same greenhouse, and then drive to the cemetery to place red geraniums on the grave of someone I didn't know - her father. Her father had died in a war as a young man serving his country. I had no idea why we were doing it, I just knew that when this day came each year that was the plan. I am now 44 years old and it wasn't until recently that the reality of what we had faithfully done those many years ago struck me with brilliant clarity.
I had never had the opportunity to meet this man who gave his life for his country, as he had given the ultimate sacrifice when my mother was just a girl. Never before had a pondered the grief and struggles of my grandmother, a young woman with five young children, left to heal their hurting souls and her own, and manage to go on without him. The realization that many, many families have had to endure this pain and sacrifice through the generations has made to truly realize what a gift these young men and women were and we should remember them today, and everyday that we walk in our freedom.
Yesterday as my husband and I were driving along a rural country highway, through several small towns, we saw American flags flying from nearly every home in these communities nestled among the corn fields. But the most striking display could be seen nearly a mile away at a cemetery in the middle of nowhere. There, they had rows and rows, at least 50, tall flagpoles waving the red, white and blue banners of our freedom and independence. With the setting of the early evening sun providing the amazing amber backdrop for this image tears came to my eyes as I remembered those who had fallen for our freedom. It was truly one of the most amazing displays I have ever seen and I thank Our Lord and Father that he led me down that path last night.
Today, as you enjoy your day off, I encourage you to take a few minutes and say a prayer of thanksgiving that you live in the land of the free. Pray for the families whose soldiers have paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Even if you do not believe in war, say a prayer of support for the safety of our soldiers who are serving in the way that our God has called them. Pray for their families back home who struggle to maintain the family while they are away. And, as always, pray for their safe return.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Thoughts from a soon-to-be Grandma
Life is good. Life is full - full of blessings, gifts and treasures of the heart.
It has been a truly full week at our household. On Mother's Day we received the news that we are going to be grandparents! Now, I have been looking forward to being a grandparent for quite a while-even though my children are only in their early twenties and it seems like only yesterday I was a new parent myself. It is exciting for me to be able to see those little ones I brought home from the hospital (and no clue what to do next) spread their wings, create their own nest and move on to the next step of their journey and become parents in their own right.
I had always imagined that it would be my daughter to have a baby first, but the news came unexpectedly from my oldest son. I received the call on Mothers Day evening. We discussed supper, how our day was and then in a very calm manner (which is absolutely the norm for Dan) he nonchalantly said, "Well, just wanted to let you know you're gonna be a Grandma." Well, I nearly flew off my chair with excitement and I could not wait to call my own mother and tell her.
Just like parenting styles, there are lots of grandparenting styles as well. My own grandparents were down to earth and simple. They did not lavish gifts of every kind on us or spend countless dollars on entertaining us, but instead we were surrounded by a love so plain and simple that the memories we made with them will go on and on. It amazes me to this day how we ever survived a week at our grandparents house with only a corn crib, a goat and a big brown bag for entertainment.
And then there are those who spend endlessly on gifts and goodies as if trying to buy the grandchildrens love and affection. Big screen TVs, video games, iPods and laptop computers for a six-year old? Whatever happened to encouraging imagination?
My children are blessed with awesome grandparents too. While they enjoy giving gifts and goodies for special occasions, their greatest gifts are the unconditional love and freedom they enjoy while making their memories. To this day, my kids live for the brief times they go to Grandma's house and just be relaxed and have fun. Where they can go out on the lake, dig up a stump, or jump from a rope into the pond. A place where driving the lawnmower for hours is fun and Grandpa spent countless hours being the 'gas station'. A place where they can just 'be' and be loved.
It's going to seem like forever until January gets here and that new life arrives. I hope and pray that I can be a great balance of styles of grandparenting. I know that while I may not have the funding required for lavish gifts, God has blessed each of us with the one thing that money cannot buy - love. God's love is free and is meant to be shared with those around us.
So bring on the granchildren because I've got a bank full of love just waiting to be shared!
It has been a truly full week at our household. On Mother's Day we received the news that we are going to be grandparents! Now, I have been looking forward to being a grandparent for quite a while-even though my children are only in their early twenties and it seems like only yesterday I was a new parent myself. It is exciting for me to be able to see those little ones I brought home from the hospital (and no clue what to do next) spread their wings, create their own nest and move on to the next step of their journey and become parents in their own right.
I had always imagined that it would be my daughter to have a baby first, but the news came unexpectedly from my oldest son. I received the call on Mothers Day evening. We discussed supper, how our day was and then in a very calm manner (which is absolutely the norm for Dan) he nonchalantly said, "Well, just wanted to let you know you're gonna be a Grandma." Well, I nearly flew off my chair with excitement and I could not wait to call my own mother and tell her.
Just like parenting styles, there are lots of grandparenting styles as well. My own grandparents were down to earth and simple. They did not lavish gifts of every kind on us or spend countless dollars on entertaining us, but instead we were surrounded by a love so plain and simple that the memories we made with them will go on and on. It amazes me to this day how we ever survived a week at our grandparents house with only a corn crib, a goat and a big brown bag for entertainment.
And then there are those who spend endlessly on gifts and goodies as if trying to buy the grandchildrens love and affection. Big screen TVs, video games, iPods and laptop computers for a six-year old? Whatever happened to encouraging imagination?
My children are blessed with awesome grandparents too. While they enjoy giving gifts and goodies for special occasions, their greatest gifts are the unconditional love and freedom they enjoy while making their memories. To this day, my kids live for the brief times they go to Grandma's house and just be relaxed and have fun. Where they can go out on the lake, dig up a stump, or jump from a rope into the pond. A place where driving the lawnmower for hours is fun and Grandpa spent countless hours being the 'gas station'. A place where they can just 'be' and be loved.
It's going to seem like forever until January gets here and that new life arrives. I hope and pray that I can be a great balance of styles of grandparenting. I know that while I may not have the funding required for lavish gifts, God has blessed each of us with the one thing that money cannot buy - love. God's love is free and is meant to be shared with those around us.
So bring on the granchildren because I've got a bank full of love just waiting to be shared!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Happy Mothers Day!
It's hard to imagine what life would be like without your mom. My heart aches for those who have gone through this transition in life where mom is no longer there so you can reach out for her, call her on the phone, laugh and go shopping with her. Our lives are formed, loved and nurtured by the strength of our mothers. Most dedicate their lives to the enormous task and responsibility that God has given them.
I hadn't really thought about this much until one day I realized that God trusted me the responsibility of caring for His children. You see, they are not my children, they are His. We are all His. He has entrusted this task to so many wonderful women that touch not only their children's lives but are icons of strength and dedication to others who will take on this job one day. No small fete by any means.
I have had the pleasure to see many models of great motherhood throughout my forty-four years of life, beginning with my own mom. My mom is a hard-working, extremely loving and friendly gal who, I know, has touched many, many lives other than my own. I have seen her care lovingly for her own mother in her later years and during her trying times before she went to the Lord, and I have seen her struggle through her own pain to be there for her grandchildren to make and maintain strong bonds and memories that they will never, ever forget. I truly cannot think of a stronger model of motherhood than my own mom. (Thank you mom, you're the best)
How many 'styles' of mothering are there? Equal to the number of stars in the sky. I have seen strict, orderly, and disciplined mothering: everything in order, a place for everything, and big trouble if you don't follow the rules. I have seen laid-back mothering: a house of chaos, fun, full of love of life and each other. And I have seen mothers who have created a great balance of all of this and more. The list can go on and on as we each have been given gifts and talents from God. We are all unique in how we handle the tasks set before us, but we pray and move on, in hopes that the results will be pleasing to God.
I have the pleasure of being mother to three of God's children and I thank Him every day that he has given such a treasured gift to me. They have grown into young adults now, each different from the other, with special gifts and talents unique unto themselves, and yet they are closer now than ever before.
My prayer for Mothers Day: Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for Your children and for all the mothers who have touched my life. I lift up to you all mothers on their special day. Continue to strengthen and guide them on their journey through the trials and tribulations of motherhood. In your name I pray, Amen.
I hadn't really thought about this much until one day I realized that God trusted me the responsibility of caring for His children. You see, they are not my children, they are His. We are all His. He has entrusted this task to so many wonderful women that touch not only their children's lives but are icons of strength and dedication to others who will take on this job one day. No small fete by any means.
I have had the pleasure to see many models of great motherhood throughout my forty-four years of life, beginning with my own mom. My mom is a hard-working, extremely loving and friendly gal who, I know, has touched many, many lives other than my own. I have seen her care lovingly for her own mother in her later years and during her trying times before she went to the Lord, and I have seen her struggle through her own pain to be there for her grandchildren to make and maintain strong bonds and memories that they will never, ever forget. I truly cannot think of a stronger model of motherhood than my own mom. (Thank you mom, you're the best)
How many 'styles' of mothering are there? Equal to the number of stars in the sky. I have seen strict, orderly, and disciplined mothering: everything in order, a place for everything, and big trouble if you don't follow the rules. I have seen laid-back mothering: a house of chaos, fun, full of love of life and each other. And I have seen mothers who have created a great balance of all of this and more. The list can go on and on as we each have been given gifts and talents from God. We are all unique in how we handle the tasks set before us, but we pray and move on, in hopes that the results will be pleasing to God.
I have the pleasure of being mother to three of God's children and I thank Him every day that he has given such a treasured gift to me. They have grown into young adults now, each different from the other, with special gifts and talents unique unto themselves, and yet they are closer now than ever before.
My prayer for Mothers Day: Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for Your children and for all the mothers who have touched my life. I lift up to you all mothers on their special day. Continue to strengthen and guide them on their journey through the trials and tribulations of motherhood. In your name I pray, Amen.
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