Growing into a Grandpa

After this crazy, chaotic, overstuffed week we had a beautiful Saturday spent with our granddaughter Alexis. She is now 14 months old, a bundle of energy and a consistent source of smiles and joy. She is walking, running, climbing and jabbering in her own little language.

It hardly seems possibly that 14 months have passed since this little cutie entered our lives, much the same thought I have about the 27 years that have passed since the birth of my own first child.

Now, those of you who I've grown up with know that my sole purpose and goal in life was to grow up, get married and be a mom. I could not wait for that time and I fearlessly took on that challenge at the age of 19 when my daughter, Heather Dawn, was born follwed closely by Daniel Allen and Benjamin John. Three of the best things EVER to happen in my life.

Fourteen years later, following the divorce from their father, I remarried a wonderful guy (Tom). Now Tom, bless his heart, had never been married much less been surrounded by the chaos that a houseful of children can bring. This wonderful, painfully quiet, man stepped out of his comfort zone, faced the culture shock and took on the challenges associated with being a stepfather, but had never experienced the joy of babies and toddlers, having not had children himself.

His newest life-changing journey began on January 5, 2010 with the birth of our granddaughter. When we first visited them when they arrived home, he was nervouse as all get out to hold that 8 lb. bundle - the fear showing clearly on his face in those early photos. The changes in him during this past 14 months just make me smile.

Every week, at least once, he asks "Are we getting Alexis this weekend?" and on one recent occasion he even said, "We NEED to get Alexis this weekend." My heart just melted. He was missing her and needed to see her. It's so hard with his sleeping schedule and working nights.

He is a great grandpa. After a blizzard in February he brought in three bowls of snow so she could play in the snow without getting too cold. So all I could do was smile and take pictures of her spreading snow all over the dining room with my proud hubby looking on full of smiles. It was fun to watch. Would I have let my kids do that? Heck no. But that's what grandparents are for - right?

He is not afraid to pick her up if she's crying. He's the good guy who lets her run out the patio door without shoes or a jacket (ugh). He's the impatient, fun guy who wakes up from our nap because it's nice out and she should go outside to play. He's the loving man who brings snow inside the house so she doesn't get cold. Has he changed a diaper? No, but the changes he has undergone more than make up for the fact.

This granny is so proud to be married to this grandpa. The joys of watching him grow into his new role bring almost as much joy as watching the granddaughter growing and changing every day.

Tomorrow is the first day of spring. A season of new life, rain showers, changes and growth. I pray that the good Lord showers his wonderful blessings over us and continues to help us grow into the people we are meant to be.

What WOULD Jesus do?

I recently finished reading a book called "In His Steps". This was a truly wonderful reading experience that should be a requirement for all Christians today to read and soak in. The story is about a pastor of a church who challenges his parishioners to live one year of their lives doing nothing without first asking "What would Jesus do?" The challenges they faced and the changes they underwent throughout the story just hit me like a ton of bricks. Could I live my life, in all areas, without first asking "What would Jesus do?"

This question has hung in the air around me for the last two weeks.

A few months ago, a very close friend called me upset that someone he had talked to at work that day stated that they didn't like me (Kathy). His distress became my own as I wondered what in the world I had possibly done or said that would cause this person to speak out with such a statement. I try hard to be friends with everyone and I was so upset by this that in my hurt I posted a comment on a social network, "Like me or hate me is up to you. I know that God loves me and that's all I need." (or something to that effect.) The reply stated that this was negative and permanent status, which I am sure it was.

I sent a private message to this person asking just what I had done to cause this hurt to her. I honestly could not remember anything I had done. A lengthy reply was received with her explanation of the words I had chosen three years prior in my haste of finalizing worship details for the day. It also noted that I am a small piece of the bigger picture. The final line: WWJD? Hmmmm? What WOULD Jesus do? I wonder if those four words were meant for me or for her?

I prayed hard that day and into the evening. I prayed that she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I prayed for myself, that I would have the ability to speak words of good meaning for future encounters. I prayed that she and her family would find a church home where she felt secure, loved and fulfilled, even if that place is not our current place of worship. I prayed and prayed. I was truly devastated knowing that I had hurt someone so deeply with my hastily chosen, unintentional words spoken in haste and without thinking.

We exchanged several email messages throughout the following day or two. I thought, perhaps prematurely, that we had come to at least an understanding that we could both live with. And yet, just last week another friend, unrelated to our church family, has been told by this person that she hates me. I wonder if Jesus would take every opportunity to spread this hatred with every person who knows me or would he have forgiven and blessed me with another opportunity to do better? I wonder if Jesus would turn and walk away as fast as He could if I tried to approach and have a conversation with Him at church?

Having completed the book that left that lingering question, I wonder if I am able to live in a way that puts Jesus as my first thought before making any decisions or taking any action? I believe that Jesus would forgive and move forward. I have forgiven her, but the nagging hurt is still in my heart and the wound reopened each time another person tells me what they've heard from her.

What do you think? What WOULD Jesus do?

Fallen for Freedom

I wake this morning, after a night in my comfortable bed and safe from harm, to a cool Monday morning sipping coffee and planning the activities of my day. Most Monday mornings are spent rushing around getting ready for work and enjoying a busy day full of things I choose to do. Today, however, is Memorial Day. An early summer day that many, including myself, will get to enjoy off to be with our families and friends.

When I was a child, I remember that on this day we would travel to my mother's home town, stop at the same greenhouse, and then drive to the cemetery to place red geraniums on the grave of someone I didn't know - her father. Her father had died in a war as a young man serving his country. I had no idea why we were doing it, I just knew that when this day came each year that was the plan. I am now 44 years old and it wasn't until recently that the reality of what we had faithfully done those many years ago struck me with brilliant clarity.

I had never had the opportunity to meet this man who gave his life for his country, as he had given the ultimate sacrifice when my mother was just a girl. Never before had a pondered the grief and struggles of my grandmother, a young woman with five young children, left to heal their hurting souls and her own, and manage to go on without him. The realization that many, many families have had to endure this pain and sacrifice through the generations has made to truly realize what a gift these young men and women were and we should remember them today, and everyday that we walk in our freedom.

Yesterday as my husband and I were driving along a rural country highway, through several small towns, we saw American flags flying from nearly every home in these communities nestled among the corn fields. But the most striking display could be seen nearly a mile away at a cemetery in the middle of nowhere. There, they had rows and rows, at least 50, tall flagpoles waving the red, white and blue banners of our freedom and independence. With the setting of the early evening sun providing the amazing amber backdrop for this image tears came to my eyes as I remembered those who had fallen for our freedom. It was truly one of the most amazing displays I have ever seen and I thank Our Lord and Father that he led me down that path last night.

Today, as you enjoy your day off, I encourage you to take a few minutes and say a prayer of thanksgiving that you live in the land of the free. Pray for the families whose soldiers have paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Even if you do not believe in war, say a prayer of support for the safety of our soldiers who are serving in the way that our God has called them. Pray for their families back home who struggle to maintain the family while they are away. And, as always, pray for their safe return.

Thoughts from a soon-to-be Grandma

Life is good. Life is full - full of blessings, gifts and treasures of the heart.

It has been a truly full week at our household. On Mother's Day we received the news that we are going to be grandparents! Now, I have been looking forward to being a grandparent for quite a while-even though my children are only in their early twenties and it seems like only yesterday I was a new parent myself. It is exciting for me to be able to see those little ones I brought home from the hospital (and no clue what to do next) spread their wings, create their own nest and move on to the next step of their journey and become parents in their own right.

I had always imagined that it would be my daughter to have a baby first, but the news came unexpectedly from my oldest son. I received the call on Mothers Day evening. We discussed supper, how our day was and then in a very calm manner (which is absolutely the norm for Dan) he nonchalantly said, "Well, just wanted to let you know you're gonna be a Grandma." Well, I nearly flew off my chair with excitement and I could not wait to call my own mother and tell her.

Just like parenting styles, there are lots of grandparenting styles as well. My own grandparents were down to earth and simple. They did not lavish gifts of every kind on us or spend countless dollars on entertaining us, but instead we were surrounded by a love so plain and simple that the memories we made with them will go on and on. It amazes me to this day how we ever survived a week at our grandparents house with only a corn crib, a goat and a big brown bag for entertainment.

And then there are those who spend endlessly on gifts and goodies as if trying to buy the grandchildrens love and affection. Big screen TVs, video games, iPods and laptop computers for a six-year old? Whatever happened to encouraging imagination?

My children are blessed with awesome grandparents too. While they enjoy giving gifts and goodies for special occasions, their greatest gifts are the unconditional love and freedom they enjoy while making their memories. To this day, my kids live for the brief times they go to Grandma's house and just be relaxed and have fun. Where they can go out on the lake, dig up a stump, or jump from a rope into the pond. A place where driving the lawnmower for hours is fun and Grandpa spent countless hours being the 'gas station'. A place where they can just 'be' and be loved.

It's going to seem like forever until January gets here and that new life arrives. I hope and pray that I can be a great balance of styles of grandparenting. I know that while I may not have the funding required for lavish gifts, God has blessed each of us with the one thing that money cannot buy - love. God's love is free and is meant to be shared with those around us.

So bring on the granchildren because I've got a bank full of love just waiting to be shared!

Happy Mothers Day!

It's hard to imagine what life would be like without your mom. My heart aches for those who have gone through this transition in life where mom is no longer there so you can reach out for her, call her on the phone, laugh and go shopping with her. Our lives are formed, loved and nurtured by the strength of our mothers. Most dedicate their lives to the enormous task and responsibility that God has given them.

I hadn't really thought about this much until one day I realized that God trusted me the responsibility of caring for His children. You see, they are not my children, they are His. We are all His. He has entrusted this task to so many wonderful women that touch not only their children's lives but are icons of strength and dedication to others who will take on this job one day. No small fete by any means.

I have had the pleasure to see many models of great motherhood throughout my forty-four years of life, beginning with my own mom. My mom is a hard-working, extremely loving and friendly gal who, I know, has touched many, many lives other than my own. I have seen her care lovingly for her own mother in her later years and during her trying times before she went to the Lord, and I have seen her struggle through her own pain to be there for her grandchildren to make and maintain strong bonds and memories that they will never, ever forget. I truly cannot think of a stronger model of motherhood than my own mom. (Thank you mom, you're the best)

How many 'styles' of mothering are there? Equal to the number of stars in the sky. I have seen strict, orderly, and disciplined mothering: everything in order, a place for everything, and big trouble if you don't follow the rules. I have seen laid-back mothering: a house of chaos, fun, full of love of life and each other. And I have seen mothers who have created a great balance of all of this and more. The list can go on and on as we each have been given gifts and talents from God. We are all unique in how we handle the tasks set before us, but we pray and move on, in hopes that the results will be pleasing to God.

I have the pleasure of being mother to three of God's children and I thank Him every day that he has given such a treasured gift to me. They have grown into young adults now, each different from the other, with special gifts and talents unique unto themselves, and yet they are closer now than ever before.

My prayer for Mothers Day: Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for Your children and for all the mothers who have touched my life. I lift up to you all mothers on their special day. Continue to strengthen and guide them on their journey through the trials and tribulations of motherhood. In your name I pray, Amen.

Believe and Belong

I remember when I was younger how hard I would strive to be a part of something. It might have been the choir, the cheerleaders, or just the 'in' crowd. I believe that each of us has a yearning deep within to belong and be a part of something special. Not all of us, however, are accepted into the 'in' club or the socially 'cool' cliques that are all around us.

In a post I made a few months back, I mentioned my friend Joe and what a difference he made in the way I look at life just by sharing one hour of worship time with him. (original blog posted below) Joe is very special in many ways.

Recently, after months of patiently waiting and learning, Joe officially became a member of our church. I am blessed to be one of his sponsors and, as such, Joe and I have become very close over the past few months. He was so excited to be joining our church that every day I would get the count down on how many days, weeks or months were left until the day. We would chat online, by text or by phone several times throughout each day about things involving membership in the church.

Every conversation included the same questions, "What's it like to be a member of the church?" and "What does it feel like to be a member of the church?" To Joe, joining the church was like being included in the socially 'cool' group or the 'in' crowd.

Now, I had never pondered these particular questions as he related them to the church, so I stumbled to find words that would explain it adequately for him. I described membership as being welcomed into a huge family that includes not only those of us in our congregation but all of God's children everywhere. The feeling, for me, is similar to going home to your parents house where you are welcomed with arms wide open and accepted unconditionally with all your flaws and imperfections included. The only requirement is that you believe and want to follow Jesus.

It has now been 9 days since Joe joined the church and not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me how happy he is to be a member of the church. Being a part of the body of Christ is one of the 'coolest' groups I know and the rules are simple - Believe and Belong!

Original post: Rejoice and Be Glad In it! 12/01/08

Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it
Psalm 118:24

I have heard this Psalm many times, but it has never struck my heart as true as it did this morning.

I woke up early as I usually do on the weekend, around 5:30 am, to find everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white this morning. This was a beautiful sight as today is the first Sunday in Advent and we were full on into the Christmas season. I left my house a little early so I could 'run in to Wal-Mart' and get a few things. I found myself grumbling all the way because the roads were slushy, it was cold outside and it was still snowing and that leads to a bad hair day. After an hour at the store, I headed off to church, gathering my thoughts in the car as I went and preparing my heart to hear the words that would be spoken there that day.

For the past few months, we had the pleasure a very special guest attending our services. Out of respect for his privacy, I will call him "Joe", although anyone who shops regularly at our local Wal-Mart will recognize him just by the description. Joe was born with certain challenges that might have held back others - but not Joe. This blonde-haired, blue-eyed ray of sunshine beams right into each of our hearts when he is around. He is forever cheerful, upbeat, caring, and worships with all his heart and soul. There is utterly no human way that you can speak to him and not walk away with a smile in your heart. This brings me to the Psalm mentioned above - . . . "let us rejoice and be glad in it."

I chose a seat close to the outside of the row of pews, as I was the reader that Sunday morning and I would need to be able to get out easily. I was the only one in that row until Joe came and asked if it was okay if he sat with me. What an honor that felt like! Now, from the very moment we sat down, he never left my side. In fact, he moved in closer, as if to say, "I'm right here if you need me."

The service began and as we normally do we start off with a hymn. Joe is quite accomplished on the piano and reads music quite nicely, so no sooner than the organ started playing, Joe's voice rang out next to mine with such joy and abandon I couldn't help but smile. Why can't we all just sing with joyful abandon like that? When the first prayer began, Joe reached over and grabbed my hand tight. I was surprised at first but gladly accepted his hand knowing that there was genuine sincerity in his offering it to me. We held hands tightly with every prayer that followed, and if he forgot, I reached over and took his hand. Rejoice and be glad in it!

Upon returning to my seat after I had finished the readings for the day, he heartily hugged me and said, "That was awesome!" He had me beaming from ear to ear with his smile. Following the readings Pastor began her sermon. It was a wonderful story to help us all better understand how God knows we need help even before we cry out to him. At every turn of the story, Joe would look at me and we would discuss briefly the meanings behind what she was saying. When she was finished, Joe grabbed my hand and shouted, "Intense!" It was, indeed, intense. Isn't it amazing that God knows we need him even before we ask? Wow. Intense! Rejoice and be glad in it!

Soon it was time for us to approach the altar for communion. One by one we rose from our seats and proceeded to form our orderly lines, much as we do many other Sundays throughout the year. But somehow that day was different for me, just being with Joe and watching his unequalled excitement with every phase of worship – something many of us do routinely and without much though. When handed the communion wafer and the words spoken "the body of Christ given for you" Joe exclaimed quite loudly, "Amen, Pastor!" I immediately noticed every face around me smiling. They were not laughing at Joe, but they were relishing the joy with which he enjoyed worshiping our Lord. I am sure, like me, there were a few who were thinking, "Why don't we all worship like that?" Rejoice and be glad in it!

At the end of the service, the women of our church presented boxes full of home-baked goodies to our college students and military service personnel. As one of the military moms in the congregation I was up to accept the package for my daughter, a soldier in Afghanistan. The pastor lead a prayer of blessing for all of these students and soldiers and, as is usual for me, I cried. I always cry when we pray for the military, although I try to hold it in and almost always fail. When I returned to my seat, Joe was there waiting with his arms open wide to give me a hug and tell me it would be okay. Selfless, unconditional love – Wow! Intense! Rejoice and be glad in it!

Spending one hour of worship time with Joe that morning was an enormous blessing and a certain sign, at least to me, that God is with us. He did not care if it was snowing, or the roads were slushy, or he was having a bad hair day. He showed me, in all of his unbridled energy and glory, that "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Thanks to the joyful heart of Joe, I now have a truer vision of how God wants us to rejoice and be glad in it.

The Jesus Creed

“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
with all your mind, and with all your strength.
The second is this, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
There is no commandment greater than these.
Mark 12:29-31

“Love your neighbor as yourself” – we have all heard these words before or at least something along those lines. Did you ever think that loving others like we love ourselves could be so difficult? Can you just imagine how wonderful our world would be if we all really did love each other as well as we love ourselves?

I, like others in my church, have tried to learn and live the Jesus Creed during our Lenten journey this year. Colorful, little cards with the Creed noted on them are hanging in various places where I can see them and remind myself to recite the words and remember how Jesus wants me to live. They dangle precariously in my car, on the fridge, and on my computer monitor at work and there’s even a few in my purse and one in the pocket of my smock. Overkill? Maybe. But it seems I need a lot of reminding on the matter of how Jesus wants me to live.

Recently a friend came into our store and inquired about my daughter, a soldier, serving in Afghanistan. When I replied that she was doing great and she loved her job, he continued on ranting about ‘why would she put herself in harm’s way’, ‘we should just stay out of it’ and ‘we shouldn’t be over there in the first place’. Few things can get me riled up like those who speak against the military or the jobs they are sent to do. The first thing that came to my mind at that moment was the Jesus Creed and those few simple words “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

With two soldiers in our immediate family we continually fear for their safety. However, when they return from a mission they are so excited to share their stories with those of us back home in stories and pictures. The work they are doing over there, to me, is one of the truest examples of living the Jesus Creed. They are taken out of the familiar comforts of home, flown halfway across the world to live with strangers, and to work in a culture so unlike our own they are amazed that these people have survived there.

Stories have been shared of the many young children treated by the army medical center for severe burns due to open flames heating their homes. The story of the young boy, recently circumcised, left untreated and unclean to be overcome with infection; the story of villages struggling to survive in a “poppy-free” environment, free from the tyranny of drugs; an entire country torn apart by war and terrorism without sufficient education, equipment or skills to fight back - Who could not love their neighbor at such a time as this?

Our pastor described this ‘living the Jesus Creed’ with brilliant clarity during her sermon this week. Living the Jesus Creed, loving our neighbors as ourselves, means laying down part of our own lives in service to others. In our own congregation we have seen people lay down their fear of speaking in public to share their faith stories and they have set aside their fear of needles to donate blood and platelets to serve and save a fellow Christian sister. And on the other side of the world, our soldiers have laid down the familiar comforts of home and family to serve our neighbors in need. They are setting aside their fears and traveling in unfamiliar surroundings to reach those in need of food, medical care, education and training for the betterment of their futures.

To our soldiers I say thank you. Thank you for being the living, breathing examples of the Jesus Creed for me. I pray that others will open their hearts and minds and see that loving our neighbors as ourselves means more than loving just those across the street and in our own home towns. Jesus sent us to love all of our neighbors, even those who can be difficult to love at times.